Who Goes Where

I say I do, but in truth, I’m
Not sure, the situation’s
Surprisingly tense, I didn’t
Think it would be, I was so
Excited, I told all my friends,
Bought some rope, plastic
Wrap, a warehouse store
Size box of condoms, and
A package of hair ties,
Rubber gloves, and several
Rolls of paper towels to
Clean up the mess with –
There will be a mess,
I suppose – this is my first
Night hosting, and I don’t
Know the effect thirty
Some-odd naked revelers
Will have on my upholstery.