December 2009

I’m like an animal
Crossed with a parable,
Mixed with a trendy cocktail
Tinged with regret,
You’re like a melody
Combined with an easel,
Blended with sugarplums
Tied to my bed,
While I’m fucking you with my
Right foot,
Left foot,
Right foot,
Left foot,
And so on.
Happy New Year to you, too.


My 401-k became less than 4k this year,
Someone got foreclosed on,
Someone lost their job,
But the Xmas tree’s sparkling,
There’s gifts underneath,
The heat’s maxed to eighty,
It’s just you and me,
You’re wearing your slippers,
I’m wearing my robe,
It’s a white Xmas morning, and
My loins are giving your loins
The gift of fluids this year.

Penis, penis, song about my penis,
Hear about my penis in this song,
Penis, penis, song about my penis,
Sing about my penis all day long,
Penis, penis, song about my penis,
All about my penis in this song;
Hear this, yes this song about my penis,
Writing ‘bout my penis, on and on,
Penis, penis, song about my penis,
Songs about my penis aren’t long.

So I went out of my way,
To be what you wanted,
I brushed all my teeth,
I clipped all my nails,
My feet and my fingers,
Now they’ll slip, smooth inside you,
Breathe deep, Honeypie,
Close your eyes, Babydoll,
I’ve got to tweet this.

I know you like it naked,
Not just when we’re doin’ it,
Or you’re doin’ it with someone else,
But when you’re on the phone, washing dishes,
Scrubbing the head, or picking up after me,
You’re bare-assed and sexy,
You know I like to watch you,
While your brown eye’s watching me,
While I’m staring at your felch hole.

You’re a little teapot,
I’m a small teabag,
Dip me in your waters,
Spray them from your hose,
Make me damp and soggy,
Squelch me with your fingers,
Press me like a clamp,
Squeeze my insides outside,
Fucking hurt me, you sissy!
Be a goddamn stud for once!

I call it my magical manhood,
Even though my hood was snipped off:
I’m still a man, you fucktard!
What are you gonna do? Beat
Me up with your foreskin?
Fuck you, too, buddy!