I’m Going to Get a Broom Handle

I miss your face and how I touched it,
I miss your lips and deep brown eyes,
I miss your legs from when you’re naked,
I miss your ass when clothed in pants,
I miss your hair, all black and pretty,
My hair is black and pretty, too:
Well, it’s your hair, but I have it,
And if you take one step closer to me,
It’s all going in the garbage disposal.
We’ll see who’s hair is pretty then.

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But It Feels So Good…

You want what I have,
And I get why you want,
Lazy and stoned,
You sit around,
You sit around,
And sit around producing nothing,
I’m busy,
And active,
And friendly,
I’m nice!
Do you want to benefit from
My generosity, my kindness,
Why wouldn’t you?
I have so much, and need much less,
Have video, have television,
Have this fucking dick in your goddamn ass,
Violating your squishy guts, while I try
To pierce your navel from the inside,
You think I’ll let you steal from me?
You don’t know who you’re living with, baby,
From this point forward, when you sit down,
Every time, my man, you get to think of me, and wince.
That’s how I’m gonna leave you,
Homeless and tore up,
Wishing your asshole didn’t flap when you fart,
But it does.
I did that to you.

You know your tits are round and firm,
Your belly’s flat,
Your hips are round,
And the only think tighter than your pussy is your ass,
But your problem is you’re loud and grabby,
You kick in your sleep,
And you’re always gabby,
My secrets aren’t secrets when the whole world knows my secrets,
And you’re not really a lady when your lady parts don’t have arms,
Don’t have legs, a neck or a head,
Which I still need to dispose of,
I’m keeping your torso,
It’s my torso now,
And while I won’t miss your jabber,
My knob will be lonely without that dick-sucking mouth of yours.