I’ve got a dick zit,
You won’t even notice it,
It is pretty small.

Baby, please listen:
Everyone is doing it,
Come on, just the tip?

I’m not feeling it,
It’s the troubles of the world.
I’ve got a headache?

That joke doesn’t age,
Saying “Just the tip” is fun,
But for reals now. Please?

Word to your mother,
Learning to switch-off like that,
She must get tore up.

We understand the difference in opinion,
But I was kissing her, and then you were,
And things progress and they do,
And then I did, and you were going to,
But you said,
“I’m not sure I want a mouthful of pussy,”
And I said,
“Well, you probably weren’t sure you wanted
A dick in your mouth ’till you sucked one, baby,
So why not give that dripping beaver a try,
While I wedge this dick pole of mine into your sweet cunny?”

There’s too many on the bus, baby,
I can’t concentrate on your face,
Our love is fading quickly in this tubular, enclosed place,
They’re getting on in droves, honey,
Their iPods blaring tunes,
Their hip, white jeans exposing curves
That have hardly been used,
I know you think I’m pervy, honey,
I know it makes you sad,
It’s when I jerk my dick at hipsters
That you start to get mad,
But I contend they’re barely people,
I think they’re mostly trends,
And if you’d see the world my way,
You’d be rubbing yourself
While thinking about grown men
Showing off their spindly legs
(by wearing tight, black denim
Like a bunch of sissy bitches):
That’s what I’d do.