I could not believe
That you are so tight and dry,
But only in front.

My teeth are pretty,
White and straight from dentistry,
Check out all your welts!

You love what you make,
Transferring it by the fistful,
To your gaping mouth.

That meme you sent me,
Intended to disgust all,
I’m Goatse, you know.

I made a mistake:
I thought you would not mind, at
Lake Titicaca

I am doing the fuck with you,
What? No, you keep quiet.


I had a sister for a minute,
Then I was an only child,
Over and over,
Their birthrate got lower,
Two children have penises,
One has a vulva,
As all of them age,
As they fuck, fine and merry,
One of them’s lonely,
For he’ll never marry,
In a land of mostly men,
Women become precious,
And the dudes left behind in China,
With no ladies for comfort,
Well, they’ll be fucking butts!

I call it my magical manhood,
Even though my hood was snipped off:
I’m still a man, you fucktard!
What are you gonna do? Beat
Me up with your foreskin?
Fuck you, too, buddy!

Laying beside you,
My hands wander languidly,
As lazily, you kiss me,
Lips locking idly,
Neither moves much,
And my eyes search the darkened ceiling
For textures I’m not even sure are there,
But this ice sure is cold,
And you’re shivering noticeably now,
So let’s get out of the tub and rush to the bedroom,
And fuck until we’re warm.

It’s difficult,
Every day,
Thinking up phrases like,
“Fucked her with a bean pole”,
And “My hands are warmest crammed in your butt”,
And I do it because you want me too,
And I do it because I’m compelled,
And I do it to test the sound of,
“Suck your juice off that vibrator like it was my knob”,
Before I say it to you,
To make sure it sounds sexier than it does dirty.

Multi-cultural, multi-lingual,
They are leaving our city together,
Two wonderful people,
A scientist and a William,
One’s from up North,
One came from the West,
Met in San Francisco,
They made it much better,
And now they both go,
To Portland, you know,
We’re seeing them off with much sadness,
They love each other so,
It’s a comfort, I know,
They fuck just like us,
But Will’s faster.