I’m Going to Get a Broom Handle

I miss your face and how I touched it,
I miss your lips and deep brown eyes,
I miss your legs from when you’re naked,
I miss your ass when clothed in pants,
I miss your hair, all black and pretty,
My hair is black and pretty, too:
Well, it’s your hair, but I have it,
And if you take one step closer to me,
It’s all going in the garbage disposal.
We’ll see who’s hair is pretty then.

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Sweets for the Sweet

I’m sitting by the telephone,
I wait for you to call,
I’m wondering if you saw me
When we both were at the mall,
I followed you from Benetton,
To the food court Auntie Anne’s,
I hid behind a Cinnabon,
I want to touch your hair,
I peeked around the kiosk,
But you were nearly there,
As you approached: I crouched,
I slid, around that kiosk’s corner,
And when I’d done all that I did,
I sprinted for new cover,
I watched you eat your snack and drink,
My zipper visibly straining,
And as you licked frosting from your lips,
My balls? They started draining.