My penis ain’t the meanest,
But my dick is plenty mean,
It is a tool of discipline,
To tame your quivering seam,
You act like it’s a monstrous thing:
Veiny, red, and huge,
But I know the truth ’bout my ding,
And huge just isn’t true,
It’s neat, though, look!
It flops about, like it’s a gasping fish,
But you’re the fish. Heh.
I’m supposed to call it pussy.

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If I loved you
Like I want to love you:
If I loved you all day long;
You couldn’t walk
’cause I’d tear that pussy apart:
Now shut your mouth,
The TV’s on.

We understand the difference in opinion,
Intellectually,
But I was kissing her, and then you were,
And things progress and they do,
And then I did, and you were going to,
But you said,
“I’m not sure I want a mouthful of pussy,”
And I said,
“Well, you probably weren’t sure you wanted
A dick in your mouth ’till you sucked one, baby,
So why not give that dripping beaver a try,
While I wedge this dick pole of mine into your sweet cunny?”

Oh,
I know me a penis,
Feels like it’s ten feet long,
And when it’s big and swollen,
It’s as wide as it is tall;

Oh,
I know me a pussy,
I like to call it poon,
And when it gets excited,
You could stir it with a spoon;

I fill it with my penis,
when it’s cold and I feel grim,
So I don’t have to see your face,
I set the lights down dim.

You’re laying there,
Your hair’s a nimbus,
A jumbled mess around your head,
And my head is spinning,
You’re so fucking sexy,
And my dick is hard,
My pussy’s wet,
Well, actually it’s your pussy,
But you know how “Finders, Keepers” works,
So it’s my pussy now.
Thanks!

I’m kinda not paying attention,
Wearing your thighs as earmuffs,
But you keep talkin’ baby,
Just chat away, ‘cause today I’m
Taking my time, doing my best
Impersonation of a pretty–pretty kitty,
Lapping up your milk;
Come to think of it, you’re the pussy,
So I should be … your owner,
And you can be my pussy, purring,
While I pet you all night long,
Except I’m gonna use my tongue.

If I had your pussy,
I’d put it on my penis,
I’d put it where my mouth lives,
I’d put it in your hole,
If I had your tongue to taste,
I’d lick it ‘till it’s flaccid,
I’d jerk it ‘till it shot loads,
I’d gobble down your seed:
Oh. I meant your dick.
Tongues don’t make sperms.