It’s none of your business if this is true or not, now is it?

I appreciate your hairless legs,
So smooth, pressed up against me,
The rolling curve of your lovely hips,
And your bosom still astounds me;
I wanted to give you a wonderful gift,
So I shaved my legs with your razor,
I ran my fingers up and down,
So sleek, so fine, so sexy,
So I kept shaving on my legs,
‘cause if hairless legs are super nice,
Shouldn’t skinless legs be nicer?

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@dinglepuss my hands & feet r in!

So I went out of my way,
To be what you wanted,
I brushed all my teeth,
I clipped all my nails,
My feet and my fingers,
Now they’ll slip, smooth inside you,
Breathe deep, Honeypie,
Close your eyes, Babydoll,
I’ve got to tweet this.

 

The thing about the Information Super Highway is that it’s super. Like a hero.

Your thighs are smooth,
Like processed cream,
Your skin is pale and fair,
You’re in the bathtub,
Under suds,
You’re washing pits and hair,
Your fingers drift,
(as fingers do),
To fiddle with your folds,
Your lips, they part,
Your eyes, they close,
Your breaths turn quick,
And you explore your cove,
What treasures lie up deep inside?
Your web cam doesn’t show,
You moan so much,
You’re splashing now,
There’s just one thing I know:
There’s nothing cooler than the Internet,
Except maybe robots.
Or pussy.
Pussy’s pretty awesome.